Think Of It As An Organic Teleprompter
A photograph of Sarah Palin delivering a speech at a National Tea Party Convention in Nashville showed that she had written notes to remind herself of her key themes during a question and answer session.
"That's nothing," Palin stated on her blog when confronted by the photographic evidence. "Bill Clinton used to get women to write their names, measurements and phone numbers on his left arm! And, FDR wouldn't have been able to get out of bed if he hadn't written which meds he had to take in the morning on the back of his hand!"
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
So, It's Okay If I Call Her A Big Business Bimbo Or Corporate Slut...Because It's Satire?SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
The New Alliance of Referees?1 god) What is NAR?
2 scary) What does this have to do with Sarah Palin?
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
When Talking Points Become Shouting Points
After Sarah Palin's Fraser Institute sponsored speech in Alberta, we asked a member of the organization for some insights into her personality.
"Sarah Palin is charming, poised and clever," responded Fraser Institute senior economist Niels Veldhuis.
But, isn't there something more to her?
Veldhuis gritted his teeth and replied: "Sarah Palin is...charming...poised...and clever."
Surely, something else must have -
"CHARMING. POISED. CLEVER!" Veldhuis shouted and ran away.
Okay, then.
SOURCE: Festerin' Report
Has She Forsaken You, Oh Your Darling?
Sarah Palin hasn't been in the news for 35 hours, 47 minutes and...20 seconds. There's probably a simple explanation for this. You...you don't think anything has happened to her, do you? Oh, my god! She's been kidnapped by a SOCIALIST LUNATIC! That's it! What else could explain the fact that Sarah hasn't been in the news for 35 hours...48 minutes and seven...eight...nine seconds? Have you people no SHAME? I bet right now Sarah is being driven in a PRIUS to an undisclosed destination in a RAINFOREST somewhere where she will be fed VEGAN DISHES while being forced to watch videos of WOMEN HAVING ABORTIONS! MONSTERS! For the love of all that is holy and decent, WILL YOU NOT SET OUR SARAH FREE?
SOURCE: Red State Blues
But, Have You Considered Bikini Mud Wrestling?
At a fundraiser for Senator Michele Bachmann (R, Twilight Zone), you can get a picture of yourself with her and Sarah Palin for $10,000. Ten. Thousand. Dollars. Will they be nude? Cause, frankly, that's the only picture of them I can imagine being worth $10,000!
SOURCE: Bill's Bitter Pills
And, How Is That Talkey-Englishey Stuff Working Out For You?
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
Well! That Was A Lot Of Wasted Drama...
Phew! Okay. She's back. Our Sarah's back. And, we can get our picture taken with her! It only costs $10,000! Uhh...does anybody have $10,000 they can lend us? No, seriously, it's for a good cause.
SOURCE: Red State Blues
People Who Are Operated On In Glass Hospitals Shouldn't Throw Red Meat
In a speech to the Fraser Institute in Calgary, Sarah Palin told a story of how her brother burned his ankle in the 1960s. The family drove across the border to Whitehorse to get it treated.
This is not the first time she has told this story, however. Sort of. In 2007, Palin gave an interview with the Skeptical Inquirer in which she said: "I remember my brother, he burned his ankle in some little kid accident thing and my parents had to put him in a rocket and rush him over to Tau Ceti and I think, isn't that kind of ironic now. Zooming into outer space, getting health care from another galaxy."
SOURCE: Glob and Maul