Ethnic clothing or science fiction convention costume? Apparently, the Conservative Party gets to decide.
Thank you, Terra Gusanitos.com, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, to vote or not to vote, that was the question. On the one hand, voting was part of the grand experiment in participatory governance that our forefathers had died to create for us or preserve - and, indeed, people in the Middle East were currently dying to achieve for themselves - it gave us all a stake in our government by giving us a say in the future direction in our country. On the other hand, there was Angry Birds. Okay, we decided to vote. But, that's only because the FBI had shut down the Full Tilt Poker Web site, and we suddenly found ourselves with a lot of free time on our hands.
So, who is running and what do they stand for?
Enjoy,Network Planning To Change Name To Being amErica
ABC is planning on remaking the CBC hit Being Erica. They were considering just airing the original, but they had to take into account how Americans hate to read subtitles.
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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How Am I Supposed To Vote If You Can't Tell Me Definitively Who Is Going To Win?
SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1874433762]
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Nyah Nyah! My Genocide's Bigger Than Your Genocide!
This Week In Jews
Queers Against Israeli Apartheid surprised everyone by pulling out of Toronto's annual Pride Parade (and looked absolutely faboo doing it!). However, this doesn't seem to satisfy the Ford administration, which has asked Pride Parade organizers to submit written documentation that includes the following clauses: treating Palestinians like animals is necessary to Israel's long-term security; Jews are god's fabooiest people, and; the Jewish lobby is here, it's got a sneer and it beats queers, so get used to it!
Progressive Jews were not asked for their opinion on this subject by the mainstream media.
In other Jews news: in response to criticism from Ukrainian groups that the Canadian Museum for Human Rights puts too much emphasis on the Holocaust, downplaying other genocides such as the one in the Ukraine, Canadian and international scholars have released a letter saying, in part: "Ukrainians are doody heads who contributed to the Holocaust, so any genocide that may have been perpetrated against you doesn't count! And, by insisting that you do, you're not elevating the level of discourse on this subject!"
Progressive Jews were not asked for their opinion on this subject by the mainstream media, either.
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Did The Goggles Give Them Away?
Controversy erupted yesterday when Conservative Party leader Stephen Harper appeared at a rally in Toronto against a background of supporters in what was supposed to be traditional ethnic garb. The "traditional ethnic garb" many of them appeared to be wearing was that of 19th century white British colonialists.
"They weren't legitimate ethnics," a leaked e-mail message from the local Conservative candidate's campaign team in Etobicoke Centre groused, "they were steampunks! Not only that, but their 'traditional' costumes had been put together for the Ad Astra science fiction convention the weekend before!"
"Are you dissing my people?" a woman thrown out of the rally who identified herself as Sybil Gerard stated. "You do not want to do that. I know that a blunderbuss is a silly looking weapon, but you would be surprised at how much damage it can do to a person!"
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20110412.eladvote0412_@/BNStory/specialElectionCatastrophe2011/]
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Because Splitting The Vote On The Left Just Seemed Like The Thing To Do
Well. That was a (more or less, give or take a candidate or two here or there) all-candidate's debate. How you viewed the results depended largely upon how you identify yourself politically.
If you tended to support the Conservatives, Stephen Harper was a paragon of strength and reasoned purpose while Michael Ignatieff was a foreign interloper attacking all that was good and right about Canada. If you tended to support the Liberals, Harper was a glassy-eyed lizard attacking all that was good and right about the country while Ignatieff was smart and statesmanlike. If you tended to support the NDP, why?
SOURCE: Toronto Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/TorontoStunned/News/2011/04/12/509727.html]
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More And More, The American Philosophy Is A Kyl Or Be Kyled
420 break) Jon Kyl claimed on the Senate floor that abortion was "well over 90 per cent of what Planned Parenthood does." When it was subsequently pointed out that abortion is actually only about three per cent of what Planned Parenthood does, Kyl's office released a statement saying that: "his remark was not intended to be a factual statement." What was his remark intended to be?[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Oh. Well. That Makes Me Feel A WHOLE Lot Better...
In an attempt to protect Canada from mobs of students randomly trying to vote in the Canadian election, Michael Sona, communications director for Guelph Conservative candidate Marty Burke, tried to throw himself on a live ballot box at the University of Guelph. He was thwarted in his heroic efforts, and Elections Canada subsequently ruled that the votes would count.
"We're just getting up to speed on voter suppression tactics," said Stephen Harper, "so, of course, our methods will seem a little crude. Not to worry. Two or three elections down the road, our voter suppression efforts should be much better integrated into our overall campaign strategy!"
"Umm, yeah, what the Prime Minister meant to say was that respect for the country's electoral rules was the party's sole concern," Harper spokesman Dmitri Soudas immediately corrected him. "We would not try in any way to suppress voting at universities just because they are usually dominated by...young people, who tend to vote for our opponents. That would be unethical. So...there."
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1228591866213
&call_pageid=961914278492&col=972366972564]
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