Thank you, Trevor Zouck, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, WHOA! Did you see the cover of the latest Time magazine? Talk about cutting off your nose to spike your circulation! The headline on the cover next to the picture of the young woman whose nose and ears were mutilated by the Taliban was: "What Happens If We Leave Afghanistan." Of course, it happened while we were in Afghanistan, but we guess "What Happens If We Stay In Afghanistan" or, perhaps the most accurate headline, "What Happens Whether Or Not We Are In Afghanistan" wouldn't have sold as many copies.
Enjoy,Have the Conservatives Finally Taken Leave Of Their Census?
The Seven Stages of Census Grief
1. The changes to the way the census is conducted are a minor administrative issue.SOURCE: Canadian Depress
[http://www.cd.org/english/notforyou.htm]
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A View To A Roadkill
11am. ABC. The View. Newt Gingrich appears with the usual suspec - I mean, panelists. In the history of bad ideas, this ranks just above Napoleon invading Russia and just below diesel flavoured ice cream.
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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I Certainly Did My Best To Make It A Reality
Morrie R. Yohai, the inventor of the Cheez Doodles snack, has died at the age of 90. He never did achieve his goal of making at least one finger on the hand of every person on the planet orange, but, as long as Cheez Doodles are sold in stores, Morrie Yohai's dream lives on!
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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The Goal Is To Beat Canadians Until They're Censusless
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=691&dir=bb]
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It Could Work If It Came In Designer Colours - Or Possibly Looking Like The Flag
Sharron Angle's campaign to unseat Harry Reid in Nevada has stumbled badly in the first few weeks since she won the Republican nomination, largely because of the things she says in public.
Sharron needs to find the perfect, electable version of herself to project to the Nevada voters. This will most likely involve some sort of gag over her mouth, which her handlers will naturally pass off as a mere "fashion accessory." Also, in order to avoid the bad optics of Angle rushing away from reporters who want to ask her questions she doesn't want to answer, her campaign team is contemplating keeping a scooter around her at all times.
SOURCE: Deadline News Network
[http://www.dnn.com/2010/ALLPOLITICS/07/28/reps.main/index.html]
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And, Yes, That Is As Painful As It Sounds
1 is the lowliest number) Richard Stursberg is no longer CBC Executive Vice President, although his departure is being characterized as neither a firing nor a resignation. If it is neither of those things, what is it?SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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More Bang For Your Product Placement Buck
A recent survey revealed that 70% of American films depict firearms. To reflect this reality, the Imaginary Movie database will now be listing weapons the same way we have traditionally listed actors, directors and key grips. Simply look up "uzi," for example, and you will be taken to a page that will list all of the movies in which the machine gun appears.
Note that we are not soliciting reviews from members of the NRA. If there is an increase in them, it will just be as part of a natural evolution of the Web site.
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt0178350/]
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If The Market Was Any More Rational, Its Brain Would Explode
SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1279532738]
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Imaginary Criminals, Real Tax Dollars Spent On Prisons
President of the Treasury Board Stockwell Day has come in for criticism over his position that a small increase in unreported crime should be dealt with by a large increase in punishment, including spending $9 billion on expanding Canada's prison system, at a time when reported crime rates are actually falling. However, in context, his argument makes a lot of sense.
"Have any of you had an imaginary friend?" he asked in a recent speech. "Of course, you did. And, as you got older, you eventually had to give him or her up, right? And, your imaginary friend probably took it well enough and just...faded away. Well, mine took it badly. Very badly. He didn't fade away - he turned to drugs to - I don't know - numb the pain of rejection, I guess. Soon, he was breaking into architectural plans of unbuilt buildings to feed his habit. Eventually, he started mugging characters in unfinished short stories and, one day, killed a character in an unproduced screenplay by Bruce MacDonald. Bruce MacDonald - a national icon! I can't help but think that, if the criminal justice system had intervened sooner, this tragedy could have been avoided!"
SOURCE:
The Irrational
[http://www.mc.ca/stories/2010/08/06/everynutwillhavehisday1000806]
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