Head + Line = Comedy Gold

Easy: Carpet Bomb Your Competitors And Strafe The Survivors With Air Fire From Drones

"Winning the business war and securing territory" - Globe and Mail

Is There Anything Left Of Him After Being Buried All This Time?

"What Haiti needs is Adam Smith" - National Post

Where Have We Heard That Before?: Everybody

"Games to break even: Organizers" - Toronto Star

WE'RE DOOMED!

"THE END OF THE STIMULUS
Carney relying on business to pick up the slack"

- Globe and Mail

Because: WE'RE DOOMED!

"Why the pessimists are worth listening to" - Globe and Mail

Don't Assume The Position!

"Revisions show bigger December job losses" - Globe and Mail

"Sifto laying off 80 at Ontario salt mine" - Globe and Mail

"MDS to lay off 150, move head offices to Ottawa" - Globe and Mail

"SUNCOR ENERGY
Sale to cost 1,000 jobs"

- Toronto Star

"Ericsson cuts 1,500 jobs as profit plunges" - Globe and Mail

"Verizon to cut 11,000 jobs" - Globe and Mail

"Wal-Mart cuts 11,200 Sam's Club positions" - Toronto Star

Sure: 1996

"It's 2010: do you know where your future is?" - eye Weekly

Says,"Hi, Civil Liberties - Been Nice Knowing You," Before Getting Down To Business

"Screening plan to address civil liberties" - Globe and Mail

So It Can Return To Its Normal Brink

"Help Haiti back from brink" - Toronto Star

Therapists Say Drug Is Called For
Insist They Are Not Being Paid By Anti-environmental Movement

"Push for electric cars spurs lithium demand" - Globe and Mail

Turns Out It's Every Bank's Secret
Only, It's Not Much Of A Secret

"Not lending is this bank's secret" - National Post

Like The Hope Of The Shark Circling The Bather in Jaws

"A gleam of hope as Israelis, Palestinians and Americans circle the table" - Globe and Mail

Don't Be Pessimistic: There Are Plenty Of Other Cities For Environmental Protection To Fail In

"After failure in Copenhagen, what next on climate change?" - Toronto Star

And, Frankly, We Can't Afford Your Emotional Instability

"When it comes to the markets, be a robot
Fear, greed and other emotions can cost money"

- National Post

...In Bed...Thinking Of England...

"Have scan-o-phobia? Close your eyes and pretend it's Avatar" - Globe and Mail

Minister Obviously Missed Memo That That's The PM's Next Campaign Strategy

"Federal politicians turn down Games freebies
Distancing Ottawa from BC's ticket giveaways, Harper minister says sports and government business don't mix"

- Globe and Mail

"Not The Kind Of Equality We Were Looking For," Women Think,"But We'll Take It!"

"Guys also insecure about their looks" - Toronto Star

If Not, You Can Always Buy Them Used On eBay

"Fancy French underthings are fine, if you can afford them" - National Post

And, The Maple Leafs Have Explored Just About All Of Them

"You can only say bad so many ways" - Globe and Mail

Explains Why Conservatives Want To Create So Many

"Disaster brings out best in Canada's government" - Toronto Star

Not That Of The Bankers

"Too much risky debt threatens retirement" - National Post

Don't Give Him Any Ideas!

"Survival may be PM's biggest achievement
Harper has carried out more of his agenda than some thought possible but still lacks a signature accomplishment"

- Globe and Mail

Unless You Broke It Up

"Rescuing co-worker's marriage is not up to you" - Toronto Star

Isn't That Just Like Life!
When You Need Uncertainty Most, It Isn't There!

"OBAMA vs. WALL STREET
Just when we need it least, more uncertainty for markets"

- Globe and Mail

It's Too Easy, Leah, But Thanks For The Thought

"Call me crazy, but I'm looking forward to buying my online news" - Globe and Mail

There's A Man At The Door
Saying Something About...The Reaping?

"Reap in profits" - National Post

Conservatives Need To Read More Of The Newspaper

"With the House on hold, Tories and Liberals face off over economic game plans Liberals pledge jobs as Tories vow restraint" - Globe and Mail, page A1

"It's jobs that make a real economic recovery" - Globe and Mail, page A17

You're Going To Stop Running Family Circus?

"Some good news - for a change" - Toronto Star

One More Face, And He Could Be Eve

"The two faces of Stephen Harper" - Globe and Mail

Hope-killing Columnist Needs To See The Tooth Fairy

"'A cure in sight'? Not so fast
Media coverage reeks of typical hope-mongering"

- National Post

So...If Countries Don't Do What You Want, They're Not Enlightened And If They Do What You Want, They Aren't Sovereign?
Somebody Is Unclear On...Something Here...

"PM calls for 'enlightened sovereignty'
Harper lays out his agenda for Toronto's summits, tells G20 leaders they must continue to cooperate"

- Toronto Star

Jerks Should Be Grateful I'm Not The One Aiming The Knee

"Bankers fear knee-jerk changes" - Globe and Mail