Oh, Like You Read All the Articles!

It Certainly Describes My Life Savings

"A less-is-more investing strategy" - Globe and Mail

The Trick Is To Cover Your Licence Plates So Your Car Can't Be Identified

"Ditching your adviser has never been easier" - Globe and Mail

Because She Was Short-tempered? Short Of Funds? Don't Expect Me To Run Short Of Jokes Any Time Soon...

"Miss Petite Canada quits on short notice" - Toronto Star

Customers Will Be Popping Champagne Corks On Rooftops Throughout The Area

"Hurricane season better late than never for insurers" - Globe and Mail

Has More In Common With Own Party's Ideologues

"Cabinet minister rules out deal with NDP 'ideologues'" - Toronto Star

How Preciousoulopoulos! You Just Want To Pinch His Cheekoulopouloses!

"Stroumboulopoulos just can't stopoulopoulos" - National Post

Fortunately, There Are A Lot Of People In Congress Who Have No Br - Too Easy?

"Re-regulating U.S. banks a no-brainer" - Toronto Star

Where Was The Debate On Our First Move? Or Any Move Since?

"Despite our setbacks, all quiet on the Afghan front
More of the same is a losing proposition. Where's the debate on our next move?" - Globe and Mail

Foot-dragging? Certainly Not! Foot-binding, Foot-mutilation And, Ultimately, Foot Amputation, Perhaps. But, Dragging? Never!

"Climate experts accuse Ottawa of 'foot-dragging'" - Toronto Star

Because The Red, White And Blue Hair Dye Can Only Cover Them Up For So Long

"Why does Canada cling to British colonial roots?" - Toronto Star

They Really Just Want To Be Loved

"Investment advisors are hardly ever out for themselves" - National Post

Alright! What?

"The party is rolling, so it's time for caution" - Globe and Mail

Does He Know How?

"Ignatieff has nothing to lose by talking straight" - Toronto Star

About Bloody Time! Some Of The Things They Say And Do On The Floor Of The House Are - Oh, Wait. They Weren't Talking About Themselves, Were They?

"MPs argue in favour of random breath tests" - Toronto Star

They're Especially Tasty With An Olive

"I love my low-cost, liquid ETFs" - National Post

Of Course! I've Been Saying For Years That American Bombing Isn't As"Surgical" As It Clai - That...That's Not The Bombing You're Talking About, Is It? I'm Just Not Very Good At Interpreting Headlines, Am I?

"Ottawa calls Iraq bombing 'cruel and unjustified'" - Toronto Star

Putting French Onion Soup On The Menu Not Helping

"Tim Hortons warns of declining sales" - National Post

They've Got To Do Something With The Money They Save, And, Lord Knows, Their Executives Can Only Accept So Much Compensation Before Dying Of Embarrassment

"Nokia Siemens laying off up to 5,700 to trim costs" - Globe and Mail

"Nokia said to be weighing bid for Nortel unit" - Globe and Mail (same page)

Three Screenplays On The Subject Are Already Being Shopped Around Hollywood

"Star-struck teens stole millions from celebrity homes
Entertainment news, Internet enabled group to plunder jewels and clothes" - Toronto Star

Drivers Not Killing Cyclists Might Help...

"Spinning wheels
Can good PR soothe tension between cyclists, driver?" - National Post

They Haven't Been Getting Along Well With The Environment, Either, And They've Been On The Outs With Truth For Longer Than Anybody Can Remember

"Media aren't the best friends of human rights" - Toronto Star

I Know Democracy Involves Opposing Views, But This Is Ridiculous

"Vote fraud 'inevitable,' UN envoy says" - National Post article on runoff Afghan elections

"Election was 'clean': Afghan President" - article underneath that about the first Afghan elections

If We Don't Spend More On Studies Of Education, How Will Our Children Learning?

"Ontario trails in education spending study" - Toronto Star

H1N1 Sufferers Seek Strong Hockey Metaphor Against Disease

"Leafs seek vaccine for sickly starts" - Globe and Mail

Because You Hoped It Would Only Last For Six Months And Result In 200,000 People Losing Their Jobs?

"Recession grimmer, likely longer than hoped" - National Post

Here's A Thought: What Took You So Long To Have Your Thought?

"Here's a thought: What if economists are wrong?" - Globe and Mail

Tragically Unclear On The Concept Of Raw Fish

"Man slain in fight at sushi restaurant" - Toronto Star

Do Casinos Worry If Some Of Their Customers Go Bankrupt?

"AN ECONOMIC DISCONNECT
Can financial markets boom when unemployment remains so stubbornly high? That question will be put to the test" - Globe and Mail

Unfortunately, In Transportation, You Don't Get Extra Marks For Effort

"CN's rail safety record has been improving" - Toronto Star

I Can Invest In Cat Food For Dinner Or Heat For My Apartment For The Evening. Hmm...What Would Alan Greenspan Do?

"Meagre income leaves few options" - Globe and Mail