ANNOUNCER: You're watching Tough Talk, with Regis Rivera. We ask the questions other journalists are either too scared, too stupid or too bought off by Rupert Murdoch to ask! We start, today, with an Insurance Industry Weasel it would embarrass us to name.
REGIS RIVERA: Why are you so opposed to health care reform?
INSURANCE INDUSTRY WEASEL: Health care reform? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're not opposed to health care reform. Whatever gave you that - never mind. We're just not. We're just opposed to Democrat health care reform.
RIVERA: But, the Republicans haven't offered an alternative, so, to be opposed to Democratic health care reform is to be against health care reform, isn't it?
IWW: Absolutely not. No, no, no, no, no, no - yes. Look. The Obama administration keeps saying public insurance won't put private insurance out of business. Of course it will! Private insurers can't possibly compete because the public insurer won't have their overheads.
REGIS RIVERA: So?
IIW: So...so? So, how will we be able to compensate our...shareholders...if...if...?
RIVERA: Almost 50 million people in this country aren't insured. Don't you think the health of Americans is more important than insurance company profits?
IIW: It's not that simple.
RIVERA: Why not?
IIW: Because...private insurance companies will not be able to compete with public insurance!
RIVERA: If the uninsured can get covered, why should we care?
IIW: Because...private insurance companies are important.
RIVERA: More important than the health of Americans?
IIW: It's more complicated than that!
RIVERA: Why?
IIW: Because...
PAUSE.
RIVERA: He seems to have seized up. While we wait for the insurance industry's response, let's go to a tape of an interview Tough Talk recently conducted with South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford...
SANFORD: Be as tough as you want.
RIVERA: Okay. Governor, why haven't you resigned?
SANFORD: Because I feel I can still be effective in office.
RIVERA: Democrats who resigned from office because of affairs - like Eliot Spitzer - or ended their runs for office - like John Edwards - would likely have been very effective. What makes a Republican like you different?
SANFORD: Well...I...
RIVERA: Yes?
SANFORD: I've been chosen by God.
RIVERA: May I see the paperwork?
SANFORD: I'm sorry?
RIVERA: Can you show me the paperwork? You know, the document signed by the Almighty that states that you have been chosen by Him to remain Governor even though you committed adultery?
SANFORD: I don't have anything like that!
RIVERA: I see. Then, why should anybody believe you?
SANFORD: I'm sorry?
RIVERA: I could say that God has chosen me to brush Angelina Jolie's teeth for her. Do you think Brad Pitt would let me do it without some kind of proof?
SANFORD: I...don't see...
RIVERA: Why should anybody believe that God doesn't want you to resign?
SANFORD: Because...
PAUSE.
RIVERA: Seems to be a common theme tonight. Insurance Industry Spokesweasel, any further thoughts?
IWW: Uhh...
PAUSE.
RIVERA: No? Okay. Early tomorrow morning, I'll be interviewing Montana Democrat Max Baucus, chair of the powerful Senate Finance Committee. This is how the interview will go.
BAUCUS: Mph. What?
RIVERA: Senator Baucus, you've received millions of dollars from health companies. Why should anybody believe the committee you head will propose a bill with a strong public option?
BAUCUS: Hey! The bill will represent what I believe is in the best interests of the American people.
RIVERA: The American people who run health insurance companies?
BAUCUS: All of the people!
RIVERA: When you say all of the people, do you mean drug companies and HMOs as well as health insurance companies?
BAUCUS: All of the people in the country!
RIVERA: You expect people to believe that the millions of dollars you've been given by the health industry will not affect your judgment?
BAUCUS: Absolutely not!
RIVERA: Why?
BAUCUS: What?
RIVERA: Why wouldn't it? Affect your judgment? I mean, if somebody gave me millions of dollars, they could lead me around on a dog leash and call me Shirley! Why are you different?
BAUCUS: Because...
PAUSE.
RIVERA: How do you sleep at night?
BAUCUS: I'd sleep just fine if you didn't burst into my bedroom asking so many questions!
SANFORD: Because, Regis, when you're chosen by God, you don't have to justify yourself to anybody.
RIVERA: Mark Sanford, still Governor of South Carolina. Welcome back. What you say may be true, but you were elected to public office in a nominally secular country. Surely, you have to justify your actions to your constituents, don't you?
SANFORD: Uhh...
RIVERA: Sorry, why do you feel you don't you have to justify your actions to your constituents?
SANFORD: (sigh of relief) Because...
PAUSE.
RIVERA: This seems like a good time to take a break. When we come back, I ask Minnesota Representative Michelle Bachman if, along with loyalty tests, elected officials shouldn't be required to take IQ and Personality Disorder tests. Stay with us...