Les Pages Aux Folles: Not Tonight, I Have a Headline
Not Tonight, I Have a Headline
And The Hits Just Keep On Coming
"Welland steel maker cuts 84 more jobs"
- Toronto Star
"Bay puts faith in its Games plan
Chain cuts 1,000 full-time jobs; will focus on heritage and Olympic Opportunities"
- Globe and Mail
"Starbucks to cut 1,000: Analyst
- Toronto Star
"Harley-Davidson to chop 1,100 jobs"
- National Post
"Tembec to idle more mills, lay off 1,400"
- Toronto Star
"Business jet lag deflates demand for Challenger, as 1,360 lose jobs"
- Toronto Star
"Magna to close U.S. plant, cut 1,400 jobs"
- Globe and Mail
"Estee Lauder profit falls; to cut 2,000 jobs"
- Globe and Mail
"IBM shedding 2,800 American jobs, union says"
- Toronto Star
"Macy's slashing 7,000 jobs, dividend"
- Toronto Star
"PANASONIC
Plasma TV maker axes 15,000, shuts 27 plants."
- Toronto Star
...Into People Who Are Broke
"We're not broke, we're evolving"
- National Post
Okay, I Think I See Where The Problem With The Economy Is...
1 + 1 = ?
- National Post
Remember When Education Was About Learning And Stuff?
"Because education is about community"
- Toronto Star
I'm More Of A Waterboy Or...Or A 57th Round Draft Pick Who Never Makes It Out Of The Minors
"Are you a punter or a receiver?"
- Globe and Mail
You're Making It Hard For People To Hear MINE
"Keep your rude lectures to yourself"
- National Post
It's Part Of The Educated Meat Community
"Sausage with literary credentials"
- Toronto Star
Please, Mister Corcoran, May We Have Some Jobs?
"We have become a nation of beggars"
- National Post
By Providing New And Improved Fog, Now With 50% More Obscuranto
"As the fog of recession rolls in, marketing helps avoid the shoals"
- Globe and Mail
And, The Liberal Party Is Directly Responsible For Each And Every One Of Them
"AILING SYSTEM
Health-care mistakes blamed for up to 23,000 patient deaths a year"
- National Post
It's Just Restin'...Beautiful Plumage...
Relax, the US consumer Isn't dead and buried"
- Globe and Mail
Good Of Ontario To Expand Its Definition Of "National"
"National securities regulator viable even if only BC , Ontario on board"
- Toronto Star
You Can Always Bank On Fear To Get Your Way
"FEARS RISE THAT U.S. WILL SEIZE BIG BANKS"
- National Post
Elton John Breathes A Sigh Of Relief
"There's more to gay music than the Village People"
- Toronto Star
For One Thing, It Rarely Fights Back
"Why fruit is worth hunting"
- National Post
Clothes Make The Bum
"The economy is in tatters, but you don't have to look that way
THE NEW, SHARPER YOU"
- The National Post
Okay, Look, I Know I'm Getting On In Years, But That's No Reason To Be Insult - What? Fort? Old Fort? Oh. I...Maybe I Need To Get My Vision Checked...
"The old fort nobody wants"
- Toronto Star
Optimism? I Thought It Was Garlic Pickle Potato Chips, But, Okay, Optimism Works Too, I Guess...
"Dark days call for only one thing: optimism"
- Globe and Mail
I Know I'll Be Sleeping Better Tonight Thanks To This Knowledge
"Conrad Black likely safe from losing his peerage
Bid to oust guilty lords may exempt old crimes"
- Toronto Star
US President Asks Where The Annoying Buzzing Is Coming From
"Canada talks tough to U.S. on trade"
- Toronto Star
Until The Gloves Come Off And Somebody Is Sent To The Hospital With A Concussion, I'm Skeptical
"FIGURE SKATING GETS TOUGH
Skate Canada seeks to rebrand sport by playing up its risks and athleticism"
- Globe and Mail
Turns Water Into Beer, Feeds Multitudes With A Single Pretzel
"Jesus visits the Super Bowl"
- National Post
Yes, But A Little Maalox And It Should Be Fine
"Is Paris burning?"
- Globe and Mail
Can't The RCMP Do Anything Right?
"HOWIE MANDEL STILL ON THE LOOSE IN CANADA"
- National Post
It Was Just Like His Old Life, Too, Except For The Food, Shelter And Personal Hygiene
"When his salary stopped, his new life began"
- Globe and Mail
Oh, Wow! Like, I Was Listening To "Ticket To Ride" On The Radio While I Read This Article! I Don't Need More Proof: There Is A God!
"Raptors provide a ticket to ride"
- National Post
Don't Ask Me - I'm Chicken!
"Which came first: the egg or the gourmet egg?"
- Globe and Mail
But You Either Have To Wait Three Days In Line Or Pay An Outrageous Sum To TicketsNow.com To Get It
"Ticketmaster issues apology"
- Toronto Star
