Les Pages Aux Folles: Insert Headline Pun Here
Insert Headline Pun Here
You Must Be Wearing The Industrial Strength Rose Coloured Glasses
"'Perfect storm' dims hopes for summer tourism market
High dollar, gas prices, keep visitors at home"
- Globe and Mail
"Toronto bucks tourism slump
Weather, high gas costs hit other Canadian cities harder this summer"
- Toronto Star
Then, The Recess Monitor Tells His Home Room Teacher, And He Is Given Detention For A Week
"PM dares Dion to go to the voters"
- Toronto Star
The Big Cars Were Secretly Seeing China
"America's big car love affair hits the skids"
- Globe and Mail
Which, Given The Current Economy, Is About How Long Your Retirement Will Last
"Three-minute visions of your retirement years"
- National Post
It Won?t Really Be News Until He Gets A Faux Hawk
"EXCLUSIVE PHOTO
Clean-shaven Radovan Karadzic to appear before war crimes tribunal"
- Toronto Star
Hip And Sexy IS The New Borderline Creepy
"Beardo cover boys: hip and sexy or borderline creepy?"
- Globe and Mail
C. D. Howe Institute Hurt By High Partisanship, Reality Says
"Ontario hurt by high taxes, C.D. Howe study says"
- Toronto Star
"Global study finds Canadian business taxes among lowest in world"
- Globe and Mail
Considering The City Has So Many Working Moms, It Makes Sense That - Oh, Wait, That's Not What You're Talking About, Is It?
"Is Toronto the nanny state capital of Canada?"
- National Post
As Expression Of Contempt For The Legal Process Go, It's No Taking Boxes Out Of Your Office Despite A Court Order Not To, But I Suppose We All Have To Start Somewhere
"Black's son fined for fleeing mishap
Chews gum in court as $2,000 penalty levied"
- Toronto Star
Maybe They Should Take A Xanax
"Tensions over drug trade bubble to the surface
Recent meeting at Canadian embassy with impatient U.S. envoy left Afghan politicians feeling bitter and insulted"
- Globe and Mail
It Doesn't Take Courage, Just A Pulse
"Have the courage to be a fool"
- Globe and Mail
Oh, The Humanity!
"Even rich feeling economic pain
Some are forced to forgo foie gras on private jets for a deli sandwich en route to airport these days"
- Toronto Star
I Wouldn't Make Facile Comparisons To Score Cheap Political Points - Much - Yet Sometimes Life Makes It So Easy...
"86 per cent of Chinese satisfied with country?s direction, poll finds"
- Globe and Mail
But, How Many Movie Theatres Can A Single Ship Park Outside?
"Canadian warship to guard against piracy"
- Toronto Star
I Take Major Offense At This
"Major offensive against Taliban under way"
- Globe and Mail, August 8, 2008
"Pakistan Routs Taliban Forces in Major Offensive"
- Associated Press, June 28, 2008
"'OPERATION ACHILLES' TARGETS TALIBAN
NATO Launches Major Offensive in Southern Afghanistan"
- Spiegel Online International, March 6, 2007
"Coalition troops begin major offensive against Taliban"
- International Herald Tribune, June 14, 2006
So, Put A Bag Over Its Head
It's Not Like You're Going To Marry It
"July housing data 'fairly ugly'"
- Toronto Star
It's Not A Civil War, But In Times Of Diminished Expectations, What Is?
"Beijing static
Disagreements over whether to watch the Olympic Games or tune them out are dividing families"
- Globe and Mail
And, The Message Is: Don't Forget To Bring Home A Quart Of Milk
"Moscow sending message"
- Toronto Star headline on an article about the Russian invasion of Georgia
They're Jerks - What's To Debate?
"World debates meaning of Spanish team photo
Basketball players, including a Toronto Raptor, draw ire after slanting their eyes to appear Chinese for an ad"
- Globe and Mail
So, That's Good News...No, Wait, That's Bad News...But, It Could End Up Being Good...Or, Bad...Or...Where's My Valium?
"Economic slump takes pressure off oil price - for now"
- Toronto Star
So...That's A No, Then?
"A rare fumble for Apple?
Strange days for tech titan as loyal fan base questions performance of hyped iPhone 3G"
- Toronto Star
"'It has certainly changed the game'
Apple has scored a $30 million hit with its App store as iPhone users embrace personalization and developers reap the benefits. With such a head start, can the competition catch up?"
- Globe and Mail
Yes, But How Will They Get Bush And Cheney To Sit For Them?
"Khadr's lawyers eye psychiatric evaluation"
- Toronto Star
