Headlines Considered Crossing the Floor To Join the Liberals,
And They Hadn't Been Members Of Parliament For Decades!

Will There Be Auditions For His Replacement?
Asking For A Friend...

"Oldest known living Canadian dies at 110" - Toronto Star

Whether It Will Show Up In Court Is Another Matter...

"LOVE IS SERVED" - Toronto Star

Also Known As "The Staycation"

"The plan-nothing approach to travel" - Toronto Star

Why Would He Feel That If The IDF Had Committed No War Crimes?

"'I felt I was a monster': IDF soldiers talk about the 'moral injury' - and the silence" - Haaretz

Why Would They Feel That If Palestinian Children Had Not Been Subjected To War Crimes?

"'Mama, I'm tired - I want to die:' Israel's strikes in Gaza leave a generation of Palestinian children traumatized" - CNN

 What About Going To Different Destinations?
Asking For A Friend...

"How to plan a low-stress multi-generational trip
Have the budget talk early. Accept everyone's wants will differ" - Toronto Star

 Let Me Give You A Couple Of Hints: He's Orange And -
Now You Get It? That Was Quick!

"Why won't Canada rescue Ukraine with Russian cash?
It's an easier job than you might think and experts wonder why Ottawa still hasn't acted" - Toronto Star

Or When SkyNet Starts Eliminating Countries With Advanced AI - And I Never Thought I Would Say This, But - Our Ignorance May Save Us

"Words fail us: Why Canadians might lose out on AI's benefits
Poor literacy is a barrier to technology's full potential" - Toronto Star

Further Erosion Of The Quality Of Life In The City? Priceless!

"Experts say boost from Billy Bishop expansion may be limited
Few gates and slot restrictions mean the broader economic impact on Toronto may be modest" - Toronto Star

 Wouldn't You Have To Write Some To Be Able To Rewrite Them?
Asking For A Friend...

"Rewriting the Rules of Corporate Morality" - New York Times

It's Between Runways Two And Three

"Mayor walking fine line on airport expansion" - Toronto Star

 My First Thought Was That This Would Be The Perfect Place For An Interrobang
But Then I Thought, Why Waste Such An Elegant Punctuation Mark On Film Hype‽
Not Asking For A Friend...

"Wait, are aliens real?!
Steven Spielberg's upcoming blockbuster could trigger a real disclosure about UFOs" - Toronto Star

 Even The Police?
"For A Supposed Comedian, You're Not Very Funny. You Know That, Right?"
I Have Been Told (Although Not Usually With Pepper Spray)

"Clubhouses gone, but Hell's Angels remain a global crime enterprise
Gang members are 'embedded in every level of society,' police say" - Toronto Star

Or Wanton Criminality - It's Such A Fine Line

"Trump flouts lower court rulings in unprecedented display of executive power" - Associated Press

Tourists Shower It With Garbage

"THE SECRET'S OUT
What happens when a 'hidden gem' gets discovered?" - Toronto Star

His Maps Are The Mappiest Maps In The History Of Cartography. His Maps Deserve To Win A Nobel Peace Prize. For Maps.

"Israel Has Lost Its Way. Trump Can Help." - New York Times

Classic MAMA: Make America Medieval Again

"WORLD CUP 2026
Officials ear spread of measles at games" - Toronto Star

Good Thing Sickness Respects Borders, Or...Oh...

"HANTAVIRUS
Canadian linked to ship tests positive
Person isolating in B.C. developed 'mild symptoms" - Toronto Star

Feeling Left Out, Illness Cries, "Don't Forget About Me! I'm Still Here!"

"Early detection is key for Lyme disease" - Toronto Star

Dangerous Nounism Has Gripped Journalist

"Dangerous Palestinianism has gripped politics
Zack Polanski's anti-Israel views are widespread and they're a Trojan horse for antisemitism" - The Times

 Palestinians Make Zionists Feel Uncomfortable
"Fortunately, There's A Cure For That," EU States

"Bake sales for Gaza could stoke Jew hatred, EU warns
Fundraisers for Gaza make 'Jews feel uncomfortable,' says Europe's anti-Semitism tsar" - The Telegraph

Playing Four Games On A Field At The Same Time Takes Real Skill

"Indoor soccer growing, despite lack of venues" - Toronto Star

Pretend To Care

"How to mend a friendship damaged by false information" - Toronto Star

The Key Is To Get The Stasis Chambers Furthest From The Engines Of The Star Ship

"How to plan a low-stress multi-generational trip" - Toronto Star