Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Pithy the Fool
Headlines Pithy the Fool
The Evil In The Hearts Of Men
(If You Had Asked The Shadow, He Would Have Told You. He KNOWS)
"Clients 'want to know what's lurking'
- Toronto Star
PRO TIP: Football Isn't The Solution
"Tackling the post-secondary funding woes"
- Toronto Star
"If He Had Thrown A Seventh Punch, He Would Have Been Disciplined
Unfortunately, As Things Stand Our Hands Are Tied..."
"SIU clears Toronto officer who punched teen in face six times"
- Toronto Star
We Suspect Ghosts Were To Blame
"The sparks flew during the power outage"
- Toronto Star
But...But...But Where Else Would We Be Able To Buy Combination Shoehorn/Oven Mitts?
"Indigo should be focusing on books"
- Toronto Star
Yet, He's Still Competitive In The 2024 Presidential Election Race
"Trump's appeal frivolous, judge says"
- Toronto Star
Why Would You Share That?
People Have Lost Their Jobs For Doing It!
"905 debut shows Dick is still work in progress"
- Toronto Star
To Improve Your Skinniness, Get Rid Of Food
To Improve Your Working Conditions, Get Rid Of Your Job
To Improve Your Mental Health, Get Rid Of Your Newspaper Subscription
"To improve Democracy, Get Rid of Elections"
- New York Times
Does The Pope Know About This?
"Sinner leads Italy to final of Davis Cup"
- Toronto Star
Goose Bumps Are Chic!
"Sunny delights
Thumb your nose at the creeping calendar in one of these cool summer dresses (most are under $100!)
- Toronto Star
How Could This Happen?
Aren't Brainiacs Supposed To Be Able To Steal Enough To At Least Cover Ongoing Expenses?
Didn't The Evil Genius Have Accountants To Advise Him On Solvency?
"Mastermind obtains creditor protection
Toy store says challenges 'too significant to overcome'"
- Toronto Star
If You're Planning On Making That Kind Of Mess In A Restaurant, You Better Be Prepared To Tip Generously
"Let's give 'em something to talk about - over dinner"
- Toronto Star
Statement Also Claims Water Is Wet And The Sopranos Deserved A Better Ending
"Rogers calls family suit 'self serving'"
- Toronto Star
Plans A "What's The Point Of Having A Car That Drives So Fast If You Can't Use It?" Defence
"Teen caught driving 100 km/h over limit"
- Toronto Star
Or Go Into Politics
You Obviously Had An Unimaginative Guidance Counsellor In High School
"Want a comedy career in Canada? You'll have to leave"
- Toronto Star
Make Up Your Mind!
"IMF calls for caution as inflation drops in Europe"
- Toronto Star
Nobody Could Have Seen It Coming...Unless They Were, You Know, Actually Paying Attention
"Dizzying Crash For King Of Crypto"
- New York Times
I'm Not Sure Using Groups That Have Been At War With Each Other For Thousands Of Years As Examples Will Help...
"ISRAEL-HAMAS CONFLICT
Canadians must find path to unity"
- Toronto Star
What...Is Behind Door Number Two?
"Chow's big plans come with a big question mark"
- Toronto Star
I Would Say Stop Slaughtering Civilians Because It's Morally Indefensible
But Hey, If This Is The Logic That Gets You There...
"Don't help Hamas create martyrs"
- Toronto Star
Bonding, James Bonding
"Bonding in the MOUNTAINS"
- Toronto Star
You Know You're Living In Strange Times When You Can't Tell If A Headline Is Optimistic Or Nihilistic
"How to use the stress from the Israel-Hamas war to lose weight"
- The Jerusalem Post
Sometimes, Headlines Really Are All You Need To Understand An Issue!
"Here's why your ER doctors are leaving"
- Toronto Star
"Ontario must revive hospital report cards"
- Toronto Star
Public Transit?
"The high cost of ROAD RAGE
Experts say incidents are up across Ontario, sending the cost of insurance premiums skyrocketing. But there is a way to protect yourself from getting dinged financially"
- Toronto Star
Are You Kidding? I Feel GREAT!
"Hatred for the other side does no good"
- Toronto Star
Jeez Louise, Will No One Give Taylor A Break?
"Swift case fits 'need for speed'"
- Toronto Star
We'll Lose Readers If We Make Too Much Of It
"The terrible cost of rising anti-Semitism"
- Toronto Sun
So, In Exactly The Opposite Way The Baby Boomers Treated Their Elders?
"Awkward age
Resisting ageism means treating elders with respect, not indulgence, writes Cathrin Bradbury"
- Toronto Star
They Don't Know The Provincial Transport Minister, Lucille van Pelt, Very Well, Do They?
"LRT on track for 2024 opening
Residents excited for disruptive Finch West construction to end and community to grow"
- Toronto Star
