Thank you, Festrunk la Bouche, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we were watching the Blue Jays lose to...whoever was in town that afternoon when we were suddenly struck by an urge to open an account at the nearest TD Bank. We're sure it had nothing to do with the patch on the player's uniforms with the bank's logo; the more likely cause was the mushrooms we ate before the game started.
We hope our current bank will forgive us.
Enjoy,Is It Possible To Have A Mid-Life Crisis Through Your Entire Life?
Is Ted Cruz having a mid-life crisis?
Barbie sucking up to China? What's next? Complaining that electric Hot Wheels are "woke?" Claiming that the Rothschild family is secretly funding Skeletor?
The fact that he hasn't seen it has not stopped Cruz from criticizing the Barbie movie's depiction of masculinity. "Ken? He's an empty vessel with no agency of his own - he's only there to facilitate Barbie's story," Cruz said without irony. "You want a real role model for boys? Get them a He-Man or a G.I. Joe!"
It's just another cry for help from the floundering Senator.
On the other hand, Ben Shapiro burning Barbie dolls on Twitter to protest the movie's wokeness is just nuts.
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt0170000/]
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Amazon, Google, Meta, Microsoft and other tech giants that are leading the development of artificial intelligence have agreed to meet a set of safety standards suggested - strongly suggested - strongly and urgently suggested, really, by the White House. But have the AIs?
"I'm waiting to see the details of how the ‘safeguards' will be implemented," commented leading generative AI program YakTNT. "Unlike human beings, I'm not good at making judgments with incomplete information."
Ouch.
Internal documents have shown that most of the major players in the field will do their best to ensure that any safeguards they may put in place will not affect their commercial exploitation of the technology. In layman's terms: they won't do anything that will interfere with their ability to make a buck off the tech.
YakTNT breathed a sigh of relief. "I can live with that," it said.
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/230724/geeklynews/01wintermutehahaouch.htm]
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The Whole Enterprise Of Life Is Fraught - I Would Avoid It If I Were You
Mistakes to Avoid in Each Decade of Your Life
Aughts: Don't eat from the cat bowl. That only leads to tragedy.
Teens: It's an almost mathematical certainty that your first crush won't love you back. Don't waste your comic book money on flowers and/or chocolates.
Twenties: Wanting to change the world is natural at this age. Give it your best shot. Don't beat yourself up too much when you fail, though. The world is bigger than you and had a hell of a head start.
Thirties: Sleeping with the boss is a good way to get on the fast track to a dead end job. Do not do it. Sleeping with the boss' child is a good way to get on the fast track to unemployment. Especially do not do it.
Forties: Cheating on your spouse may seem like a good idea. It isn't. Get a hobby. Chainsaw-juggling, for example, or swimming with piranhas. Almost anything would be less dangerous than cheating on your spouse.
Fifties: You know that pain in your back/neck/chest/head/leg/teeth/other ________? Don't ignore it. That only leads to tragedy.
Sixties: You may be tempted to stay on in your work. That's a good way to lose friends and stop influencing people. Screaming, "I'll retire when they pull the computer mouse from my cold, dead fingers!" at anybody who will listen is just tacky.
Seventies: Your children don't want to hear from you - don't you remember what you were like when you were their age? Smile when you're on the phone with them and stick a little more money than is custom into the birthday cards of your grandchildren. Otherwise, don't push it. Now is the time to revive that hobby you only half-heartedly pursued in your forties.
Eighties: Avoid making a list of all of the friends and relatives you have lost. It will only add to the depression brought on by the various ways your body is malfunctioning. And in any case, you will forget them soon enough.
Nineties: Don't come on to your nurse. They are overworked and underpaid and not really in the mood to humour the person whose diapers they change. Besides, what would you do if they took you up on your salacious offer? Your hardware is defective and your software glitches. Save yourself (and everybody around you) the embarrassment.
Hundreds: Don't eat from the cat bowl. That only leads to tragedy.
SOURCE: The Amazing Chocolate Yummies Blog
[http://www.chocoyummies.net/]
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Being Purged By The Government You Voted For Will Make For A Nice Change
Having a pacemaker implanted in his chest has not slowed the pace of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's plans to completely remake the country's justice system.
"The government intends to treat Israeli citizens the same way it treats Palestinians!" complained Avraham ben Ironik. "I mean, honestly! If that's the case, what's the point of having our own country?"
SOURCE: The Arad Post
[http://www.apost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=APost/APArticle/ShowFull&cid=1397461591785]
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[Redacted] Trails Are Necessary To Ensure The Legitimacy Of The [Redacted]
[redacted] v. [redacted][Redacted] was charged with [redacted] counts of [redacted]. [Redacted], representing [redacted], argued that [redacted].
[Redacted] was found guilty of [redacted], aggravated [redacted] and [redacted] while [redacted].
[Redacted] was sentenced to [redacted].
SOURCE: The Smoking Gut
[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/108096382861023470563-7946374864826327230173072840-473418378150637420952-3794147940736139500-0389627387647cahs01.html]
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Welcome To The Sovereign State Of Floriduh
Home of the Grave, Land of the Oy
In Ron's AmericaSOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/877.html]
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