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That Might Seem Like A Lot Of Money, But The Man He Replaced Was Making $20 Million A Year, So He's Practically A Steal!
You Should Pardon The Expression...

Spare a little sympathy for Tucker Carlson. He's not the devil, he just plays one on TV.

Carlson spends hours every day preparing to go before the public and lie to millions of people. Not make innocent mistakes. Not exaggerate for dramatic effect. He says things that he knows are not true. Worse: he knows the lies he tells are tearing the fabric of his country, his home apart. Can you imagine what that must do to his soul?

Ha ha ha ha ha! Good one, right? For six million bucks a year, Carlson can buy replacement souls. In his basement, he probably has a freezer full of replacement souls that he can inject into his heart when the old ones get shrivelled and sour! Okay, he probably needs a new one after every show - the freezer would have to be the size of a normal person's basement. He can afford it. In fact, I bet Tucker Carlson could afford to use replacement souls out of his basement-sized freezer to ice his drinks - they probably give alcohol a tang of melancholy righteousness.

Carlson, whose concern for the country has mostly been a means of preserving a lucrative meal ticket, reminds me of the saying that for Republicans, every accusation is a confession. I would add: and every confession is a grift. And every grift is deplorable.

SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism

[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Not Stopping For A Red Light Is Not The Same Thing As Illegally Going Through An Intersection
Not Filing A Tax Return Is Not The Same Thing As Avoiding Paying Your Taxes
Hey! This Is Fun!
Not Telling Your Partner About The Sex You Had Last Night With Another Person Is Not The Same Thing As Cheating
Not Eating The Whole Jar of Peanut Butter Is Not The Same Thing As Breaking Your Diet
Man, I Could Do This All Day!

"Not having books in school libraries is not the same thing as banning books." - Ben Shapiro

SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines

[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1376554321]
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Some States Find Religion, Other States Have Religion Thrust Upon Them...

Our Donald who art in Mar-a-Lago,
hallowed be thy tweets.
Thy presidency come.
Thy dirty work be done
In Washington as it is in Florida.
Give us this day our daily propaganda,
and encourage our trespasses,
as we condemn those who trespass against you,
and lead us into insurrection,
but deliver us from libs.
For thine is the presidency and the power, and the glory
Forever and ever.

Amen.

SOURCE: Religion For Dummies

[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummies/religionfordummies/home.asp?did=573&dir=bb]
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Does Your Friend Happen To Be A Woman?
Who Happens To Be Pregnant?
Just Asking For The Gilead Government...

At least 21 South Carolina legislators have indicated that they would vote for a bill that mandated that women who terminate pregnancies (with mealy-mouthed exceptions that confuse more than clarify) be tried for murder. South Carolina has the death penalty, so if convicted, these women could be killed by the state.

Can somebody please explain how people with such a blood lust can consider themselves "pro life?" I'm asking for a friend.

SOURCE: Asking for a Friend: Your Source of Impertinent Questions for the New Millennium

[http://A4AF.com/New]
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The Whole Republican Party Is Becoming A - No, I'm Not Fixated! Stop Saying That!

# of the beast) Donald Trump claimed that he was going to be arrested on Tuesday. Where did he get that idea? a) he pulled it out of his ass
b) he pulled it out of Stormy Daniel's ass
c) he had Stormy Daniels pull it out of his ass

#s never lie) When did you become so anally-fixated? a) when I started paying attention to right-wing politics
b) when I realized that Donald Trump was dragging America into the toilet with him
c) anally-fixated? Me? I...I hadn't noticed...

SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles

[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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#warwhatisitgoodfor #reelection

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene
@RepMTG

A bag full of sand pretending to be a bomb was found by Border Patrol Agents on Jan 17th. WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS TO CONTINUE! The United States must immediately go to WAR with FOREIGN BEACHES! With all due respect to Senator Ted Cruz, I would start with the BEACHES in CANCUN and work our way through Mexico from there. #stormthebeaches #sandisunamerican @boycottsandman

SOURCE: Twitherd

[https://twitherd.com.RepMTG]
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The Common Touch Could Use A Touch-up

Accused of eating pudding with three fingers, Governor Ron DeSantis took to the airwaves to defend himself: "What, that? Pfft. That's just rumours started by people who hate how free Florida is. Let me be perfectly clear: I eat pudding just like every other American does: with a fork!"

Reaction to the announcement was swift. Former president and future inmate Donald Trump, speaking at a yuge rally of literally dozens of supporters, said, "What's wrong with eating with your fingers? I eat hamberders with my fingers. I wouldn't eat them with a knife and fork - everybody knows how stupid that would look. So, why would I eat pudding that way? Ridiculous! But I hear Ron DeSatyriosis eats pudding with a fork and knife - how could anybody seriously vote for this guy?"

Right wing media picked up on Trump's remarks, followed by conservative special interest groups. Rita Snottknows, President of Moms Against Children, said, "My babies all eat pudding with their fingers. Is the Governor of Florida saying that he's too good to be like my children? Does he have any idea how many mothers like me vote?"

With a sigh, DeSantis put out a press release saying, "Of course I eat pudding with my fingers. There's nothing wrong with it - it's as American as blueberry pie. If the mainstream media has a problem with that, they have a problem with America's mothers!"

Somewhere in Florida, a former president chuckles to himself.

SOURCE: Disassociated Press

[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
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