Cover Stories Need to Get Their...You Knows Straight

When you order desert online, you could be said to be buying pie a la modem...
There is a crack in the window, much as it panes me to say it...
The lion got his hair trimmed at a barbershop on State and Mane...
AA Milne's books should come with a Tigger warning...
Oh, no! Don't take me to the eerie airy fairy aerie!
The spray-on umbrella was an aerosol parasol...
Not being able to get funding for the place the hockey team would play could be considered arenal failure...
MAGA Republicans are a clear and present anger to the United States...
The company set up to sell collections of Silverstein's poetry was a Shel corporation...
The comedian who was told not to repeat her jokes in court was given a gag order...
The angry astronomer told her partner: "Don't let the door hit your asteroid on the way out!"
My favourite Saturday Night Live comedian/Israeli Prime Minister: Gilda Meir...
Some nights, I share sushi with my roommate. Some nights, my roommate shares calamari with me. I think of this as our squid pro quo...
My favourite director of slacker films: Judd Apathy...
When he returned to earth, the first dog in space that had never had a mate was Laika virgin...
The company's poets meet in the corporate bardroom...
If anybody can bring the corrupt primates to justice, it's Fulton County DA Fauna Willis...
When he won the World Figure Skating Championships, athlete Cranston stood Toller...
My favourite Canadian PSA as interpreted by Doctor Seuss: Horton Hears a Hinterland Who's Who...
If you need drugs for your heart condition, you should visit Statin Island...
In these days of instant, uneducated hot takes, why does alma matter?
My favourite Jack Nicholson film set in Saskatoon: Saskatchewan Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest...
When people write using an old system of characters, they rune it for the rest of us...
Everybody at the game has to touch the stack of cards before the first deal: it's an all hands on deck situation...
When you dine on the island in the Tyrrhenian Sea's Tuscan Archipelago National Park, you could be eating Elba pasta...
Conservatives demanded that the government make the old-fashioned piano the national musical instrument of the country, but that was just political spinet...
As a freelancer, I start every day by saying: "Carpe per diem!"
If you want the best liquid eyeliner, it's an Ardonne deal...
Satire for the Folles-ically challenged for over two decades...
I hate when my computer runs out of memory and responds by suggesting that I: "Byte me!"
"You have reached the Sade Hotline. Smooth operators are standing by to take your call..."
Sadie wanted to wed the marionette, but he came with too many strings...
So much happened to me on Tuesday that my personal log became a long day's journal into night...
I asked the teacher if she would employ a multi-modal technique, but that was all she rote...
You say you're a water channel controlled by a movable gate? Funny, but you don't look sluice...
If you fall in love with the northern Israeli port city, you can consider yourself Haifanated...
My favourite funk band/refreshing beverage: Kool Aid & the Gang...
The professional career adviser knows the difference between a milestone, a millstone and a kidney stone...
You want to compare my naive enthusiasm to that of a puppy? Well, aren't you an analogee whiz!
Being a loyal servant may require you to spend hours not to question why..
. My favourite movie about musicians on the run from mobsters in northern France: Somme Like it Hot...
My favourite Canadian band named for people whose actions don't match their words: The Tragically Hypocrite...
The airline was so desperate for my business that it piled on the free food, but, honestly, it shouldn't have trayfulled with me!
The dancer on trial for murder tried to cut a plie bargain...
The dish involving foul and fish eggs was an attempt by the chef to get his ducks in a roe...
A sailor who expresses a wide range of anger can be said to ply the Seven Seethes...
The child actor who starred in the candy commercial had a Toothy Role...
The web hosting service for Asian tiered towers with multiple eaves: PaGoDaddy...