Yo, Tech Answer Guy,
After years of service, my trusty steed Rusty (it's actually a car, in case you didn't know - I live in the city and can't afford gas or the fines for cleaning poop off the street - it got its name because it's a lovely shade of magenta) has gotten rusty (too much salt in my diet has eaten away at her undercarriage, to the point where I take every bump in the road personally). So, with much sadness, I had Rusty put down (the scrapyard in my neighbourhood is at the bottom of a hill).
I went to WalMart to get a...not a replacement, exactly, for no vehicle could ever replicate Rusty's restive recidivistitude, but something I could get around in. Imagine my surprise when I found that the floor of the showroom was a linoleum checkerboard pattern alternating images of cats and dogs; I could notice this because it was completely bereft of cars!
What gives?
Sincerely,Yo, Redeye,
People throughout the country are noticing the linoleum of the car dealerships at their local Wal-Mart (that will teach founder Wally Martini to cheap out on decor!). What gave was the production process: no new cars have been produced in the United States for three months.
According to the Biz Whiz, China is to blame. The entire province of Sayshu (pronounced: shay-shu, smartass!) has been shut down because of COVID. Or possibly kaiju. Honestly, the Chinese government contains more mysteries than an Agatha Christie novel!
The problem is that three of the four factories that produce air injection dongles, a vital part of modern car engines and crop dusting biplanes, are in Sayshu. (The fourth is in Donswetz, Russia - good luck getting parts from there in today's political climate!) Without air injection dongles, cars are expensive paper weights.
I know what you're thinking: couldn't we just import air injection dongles from Europe? What? You were actually thinking that you need to come up with an excuse to get out of going to the dentist next week? What do you take me for - a mind reader? Sorry, but I'm not interested in flash fiction!
Okay, since the subject has been brought up: most personal vehicles in North America require titanium cooled air injection dongles for that smooth, smooth ride. The air injection dongles made in European factories are ceramic heated, great for race and getaway cars, but not so great for most consumer vehicles: they make ashtrays randomly pop open, radios play nothing but Wailin' Jennings cover songs, and wheels fall off. And nobody wants to deal with Wailin' Jennings cover songs in city driving.
According to Phil, the mechanic from the shop down the street, this is only part of the problem. In days of yore (not my - I'm not old enough), companies would buy and store parts so that if there was a disruption in the supply chain chain chain (as first described by famed economist Aretha Franklin), they could continue producing cars.
Not any more. Companies now use Just in Time (not to be confused with the lead singer of the Eclectic Prune Circus, Justin Thyam) production. By not keeping an inventory of parts on hand, they save money (which, admittedly, the CEO then blows on cocaine-fuelled orgies with government regulators and Congressional Republicans, but everybody has their own ideas about “fiduciary responsibility”).
What happens when a part doesn't arrive in time? A lot of unhappy linoleum-gazing.
Which explanation is correct? They probably both contribute to the problem. But which is more correct? Jeez Louise, you're a tough audience! Weeelllll...the Biz Whiz has degrees up the wazoo (personally, I would keep them on a wall, but I'm obviously not highly educated), but Phil, the mechanic from the shop down the street, knows things. I'm gonna give Phil, the mechanic from the shop down the street, the edge on this one. After all, he knows things about me, too...
If you are a dude with a question about the latest technology, ask The Tech Answer Guy by sending it to questions@lespagesauxfolles.ca. Just remember: I didn't say anything about Franciscan air injection dongles, because things were already complicated enough and - no, don't ask me about - seriously, that would just be muddying the oil pan, as we say in the used car biz...when the barkeep has been a little too liberal with the libations...and nobody is listening, and nobody wants tha - okay, look, Franciscan air injection dongles are only produced in a small factory in southern Italy, and they're used primarily in Vespas. They wouldn't help - what? Gregorian air injection dongles? Now you're just making shit up!