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A Poke in the Eye of Reality and Three "Knyucks"

Chapter 1: Headlines Don't Know How to Ask This, But...

  • From Headline to Headache in 1,027 Easy Steps
  • Headlines Are Going For the Gold!
    Even Though They Were Eliminated in the First Round
    (Breaking and Entering May be Involved)
  • Headlines Wouldn't Blame You
  • Headlines Are No Shrinking Petunias!
  • Newspapers Just Can't Wait to Headline Your Bird Cage
  • Headlines Were Only In It For The Money - Isn't Everybody?
  • If Only You Got to Know Them, You Could Learn to Love Headlines...
  • Headlines Tried To Warn You, But Did You Listen?
  • Headlines Would Tell You About The Stain On Your Shirt
  • Headlines Lost Iraq
  • Headlines Would Have Done Better at the Pan Am Games If Only They Had Had More Government Support
  • Headlines Can't Connect To The Internet Right Now
    (Best To Give Them Room - They're Going Through Email Withdrawal)
  • Headlines Know That The Fixx Is In
  • Grasping for Wealth, Grasping for Straws -
    Headlines Can't Tell the Difference Any More
  • Headlines Liked Alice Cooper After Liking Alice Cooper Was Cool
  • Chapter 2: As the New President Has Shown, There Are Times When Being All Talk is Preferable to Taking Action...

  • Customer Dissatisfaction Survey
  • Big DICK Radio Goes Deep
  • The Egony and the Ecstasy
  • Og and Thag Defend the Romance Club
  • Switch Mitch
  • TRAVEL ADVISORY: Cloudy With a Chance of Taken 2
  • Big DICK Radio Does it All...For You...
  • The Donald Trumps Politics as Usual
  • You Think You've Been Sexually Assaulted? Ghomeshi Yourself!
  • Humour Passes on the Right
  • Big DICK Radio Caves to Demographic Reality
  • White Hunter, Black Friday
  • Putin's Posse Trump's Team
  • Big Dick Radio Ties One In for the Holidays
  • Chapter 3: When the Going Gets Tough, The Headlines Get Weird

  • Frankly, I've Never Seen the APPeal...
  • People Who Get Their News On Their Cellphones Never Have To Wait in a Headline at a Newsstand
  • Journalism's Magic Number (It's Not What You Think)
  • Headlines Promise They Won't Wilt Under the Pressure
    (But Everybody Knows They Will)
  • You Have to Get App Pretty Early in the Morning to Succeed in This World
  • Headlines Are Waiting For Fu Manchu Moustaches To Come Back Into Style
  • Not Tonight, Dear - I Have a Headline...
  • You Say You Want a Small, Single Purpose Programme For Your Portable Device?
    There's A...You Know For That...
  • Headlines' Slavish Devotion to Times New Roman Doomed to Go Unrequited
  • Five Comes Alive
  • Are Dogs Lying With Cats? Only One Thing To Do...
  • Tech APPreciation
  • What the Heck Do You Know? About Headlines...
  • Is It Better To Be Loved Or Feared?
    Headlines Have The Answer
  • Chapter 4: What the Heck Do You Know? Doesn't Know How to Ask, So It's Going to Crib a Question From Headlines...

  • What the Heck Do You Know?
    Takes Arms Against a Sea of Troubles And, By Opposing, Ends Them
  • So You Think You Know What the Heck Do You Know?
  • What the Heck Do You Know?: 20 Questions Nobody Wants Answered
  • What the Heck Do You Know? Threw Up a Little Bit in Its Mouth
  • What the Heck Do You Know?
    Ponders the Most Important Question of the Election: Are We There Yet?
  • What the Heck Do You Know?
    Was Sick of the Election Campaign Before it Even Started!
  • What the Heck Do You Know? Is Reaching For a Title, Here...
  • No, What the Heck Do You Know? Will NOT Be Your Alibi!
  • What the Heck Do You Know?
    Was Sick of World Politics Before They Even Started!
  • What the Heck Do You Know? Wants Complex Answers to Simple Questions
  • What the Heck Do You Know? Makes a Point of Not Questioning Authority
  • Chapter 5: It's Not What You Say, It's...No, You Were Right: It IS What You Say!

  • Sailing Off Into the Sunset on Quoty McFloaty Boaty
  • Quotes Loom Small on the Horizon
  • The Quote..sest With the Mostest
  • Quotes Have High Hopes for 2016 (Ssh - Don't Say Anything to Disillusion Them)
  • Quotes Were Wondering if You Were Going to Eat That -
    Times Are Tough, You Know!
  • Quotes Stand By Their Word
  • Better To Remain Quiet And Be Thought a Fool
    Than To Quote a Fool and Remove All Doubt
  • Quotes Like To Throw The Word "Forsooth" Into Casual Conversation Just To Get A Reaction
  • Quotes Hate Themselves for Being Leafs Fans
  • Quotes Wonder If Maybe It's Time to Get Off Twitter
  • That Quote Could Have Been Your Neighbour!
  • You Shouldn't Have Said It If You Couldn't Live With the Cranberry Sauce!
  • Chapter 6: Who Likes Short Shorts? Writers With Not a Lot to Say Like Short Shorts!

  • Puns We Love to Hate Wouldn't Have It Any Other Weigh
  • If You're Not Part of the Cover, You're Part of the Cover Up
  • When Does a Few of My favourite Things on Twitter Become an Avalanche?
  • Lies You Can Find on Twitter (Among Other Places)
  • Cover Ops Saved the Country
  • On Twitter, the Pun is Mightier Than the Word
  • If You Can't Be Silly on Twitter, What is it Good For?
  • A Few of My Favourite Things Seems to be Getting the Hang of Twitter
  • Puns, Huns and Pre-ovened Buns
  • False Facts, Real Twitter
  • If You Only Have One Thought A Week...
  • Twitter Punishment
  • I Don't Play Favourites, But on Twitter I Play My Favourites
  • [Insert Cover Joke Here]
  • When it Comes to Puns on Twitter, It's a Fine Whine Between Love and Hate
  • Chapter 7: When the Weird Get Going, The Pros Run for Cover

  • A Republican Nominating Convention Phantasmagoria
  • Frequently Unasked Questions: Those Crazy British Bastards
  • It Takes a Village to Populate a Bag of Crazy
  • The Conservative Playing the Ref to Gain Media Advantage Algorithm
  • Frequently Unasked Questions About How the Panama Papers Roll
  • You Know You're a Recipient of Male Privilege When...
  • Crazy? It's in the Bag!
  • The Reality-based Community Fails To Appreciate the Gravity of the Situation
  • Cold Climate, Hotline
  • Preaching to the Perverted
  • What If They Held a Protest and No Media Came?
  • Crazy is As Crazy Duhaflurgonblurgon-ha-ha!
  • The How Democracy Dies Algorithm
  • Chapter 8: About the Other Author

  • I'm Just a Fount of Too Much Information
  • Adventures in Education
  • The Littlest Klingon
  • I Like Playing the Long Can*Con
  • Wherein I Make Sport of My Exhibitionism
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    Welcome, Science Fiction Fans!

    If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! You can find the complete text of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be, +

    Welcome Back My Friednishes To The Show That Never Ednishes

    I now have a Facebook author/fan/whatever you want to call it page: Ira Nayman's Thrishty Friednishes. Go, look around, like it if you feel so inclined and feel free to leave a comment. I have only just started it, so it may be a little sparse at the moment, but I will add content based on what people post they would like to see. Within reason.

    Would you be interested in immortality?

    The Alternate Reality News Service (ARNS) has two advice columns: Ask Amritsar, a column about love and sex and technology, and; Ask the Tech Answer Guy, a column about +