Les Pages aux Folles
- Okay, so, like, The Boss has asked us to explain what you can find in the New section.
- Like it isn't obvious.
- You never know. Maybe the person who's reading this page is from Saudi Quattabia or some place like that. You know, she has three degrees in nuclear physics from a university back home but the only work she can get in Canada is cleaning people's toilets.
- Ooh, what I wouldn't give to be able to clean people's toilets!
- That's a little off the point, Germaine.
- Some people might not know that the New section of the Web site is where new columns and cartoons are posted before they eventually get collected into books.
- We could tell them anything.
- I beg your pardon?
- The Boss is off on some turkey-induced L-Tryptophan stupor - he'll be out for hours! I say we put the recipe for the world's greatest potato salad in this space and upload it to the Web before he comes to!
- Oh, Fyodor, you always were a kidder!
- I'm Chuck.
- No, you're not. You're Fyodor.
- No, I'm Chuck.
- No, I'm Chuck.
- No, you're Fyodor.
- Okay, look. That joke works well with The Boss because to him all elves look and sound the same -
- But, we all do look and sound the same.
- Not helping, Germaine.
- But, it doesn't work on us, Fyodor -
- STOP IT!
- YOU STOP IT!
- THAT'S IT! Ungh! Arrrrrr!
- HEY! OWWW! Why, you - grr - rrowrf - oy!
- Guys? GUYS! CUT IT OUT!
- Grunt harder!
- Grunt harder...with a vengeance!
- GUYS! WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
- You're right.
- Yeah. Sorry.
- You can be Chuck if you want to.
- Actually, I'm Germaine.
- I thought I was Germaine.
- Let it go. Just...let it go.
- Did we...did we just have a Keebler Moment?
Welcome, Science Fiction Fans!
What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys, Luna for the Lunies!, The Street Finds its Own Uses for Mutant Technologies and The Alternate Reality News Service's Guide to Love, Sex and Robots in the Archive Section, as well as a new Alternate Reality News story every week in the New Section. They are clearly marked [ARNS] for easy identification. And, please feel to browse through the other writing, cartoons and miscellaneous oddments - you never know what you might enjoy!
Welcome Back My Friednishes To The Show That Never EdnishesI now have a Facebook author/fan/whatever you want to call it page: Ira Nayman's Thrishty Friednishes. Go, look around, like it if you feel so inclined and feel free to leave a comment. I have only just started it, so it may be a little sparse at the moment, but I will add content based on what people post they would like to see. Within reason.
Would you be interested in immortality?
technology and anything except love and sex. It's a thing with him. Don't ask. ARNS is now soliciting questions for these advice columns from readers. That means you! If, after reading any of the columns, you are inspired to write a question of your own, please submit it to firstname.lastname@example.org! (Without the exclamation mark, because that would just be rude.) If your question is selected, your name and a link to your Web site will be posted on this Web site, which, at almost 14 years old, may not exactly be immortal, but is pretty darned long-lived. So, okay, maybe we oversold it a bit. But, what the heck? Have fun with it. We look forward to reading your questions!