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Chapter 38
October 15, 2017

Deplorable is as Deplorable - Eww!

When Deplorable Takes Flight, It Sure Is Something To Behold!

Being deplorable is like farts - most people don't know how to define it, but they know it when they smell it. (Unless they were responsible, of course, because people in the basket rarely see anything wrong with self-dealing...in any form.)

Most people (not exactly the same most people as referred to in the previous paragraph, but with substantial overlap) would agree that being wealthy does not automatically make you deplorable; if only because most people (a third group - really, must I draw you a Venn diagram?) want to be wealthy, and you know they would neeeeever act deplorably. That having been said, wealth does allow for a better class of deplorable behaviour. Just start with a base of entitlement and sprinkle some condescending contempt for those who are below you, which, let's be honest, is pretty much everybody. Add a willingness to say what is on everybody's mind - well, everybody in your circle, in any case - in public rather than behind closed doors and your deplorableness is just adora - cute. Very cute.

I hope Louise Linton likes her accommodations in the basket. She should think of it as a reverse form of taxation - we're happy to sacrifice the space for her.

Funny How Mosques And Synagogues Didn't Need To Be Told To Shelter Hurricane Victims
But What Do Those Heathen Religions Know About Prosperity?

Deplorable often builds elaborate rationales to justify its behaviour. Sometimes, the rationales are whimsical. Sometimes the rationales are absurd. Either way, they always serve to protect the dignity of the deplorable (don't tell them they have none - why spoil their day...and everybody else's fun?).

Joel Osteen wants you to know that he did not turn people away from the Lakewood megachurch, where he is Chief Pastor, after Hurricane Harvey hit; he just didn't let them in. And, it wasn't his fault: the city didn't ask him to take them in. Because, of course, Jesus waited for the Roman government to ask him to feed the multitudes before he accomplished that miracle. And, healing the lepers? Jesus wouldn't dreeeeeeaaam of doing it if the Jewish elders hadn't asked.

Or, it could be that the promoter of the Prosperity Gospel (basically Gordon Gecko with a bible in one hand and a halo that only he and his followers can see) has decided that people who could not afford to protect themselves from the hurricane had been forsaken by God. And, hey, if God didn't want anything to do with those guys, who was a poor preacher to argue?

Sucks to be you. It's great to be Joel Osteen, though. Even if his beliefs require him to make occasional visits to the basket.

Next To President Trump's Resort, So He Can Bask In The Reflected Ignominy

Sometimes, deplorable is just oblivious.

There is no question whom Tucker Carlson was talking about: President Trump. What did the President do that so impressed the Fox almost human host? Did he put programmes in place that protected ordinary people from economic depression? Did he challenge Germans to tear down the wall that divided them, ending the Cold War when they did? Was he the first visible minority to win the presidency?

No, against the advice of almost all doctors in the world, President Trump looked directly at the eclipse. The truly deplorable act is, of course, for a prominent national politician to work hard to blind the country's youth, but President Trump already has a resort in the basket of deplorables, complete with an 18 hole golf course, four star chefs and enough massage therapists to soothe even the most inflated ego. Carlson is merely an enabler of deplorables; still, that deserves at least a small summer cottage in the basket.

It's All A Joke...Until 500 People End Up In Hospital

Actually, the somebody who advised people to get small was comedian Steve Martin on the 1977 album Let's Get Small. Despite being a fan of Martin, I must say that his advice is not what I would have thought of as a solution to American gun violence. But, then, I'm not South Dakota Republican Senator John Thune.

Unlike that of Louise Linton, this statement is more than just a hollow reflection of Lifestyles of the Rich and Deplorable. The actions of denizens of the basket often have real world consequences that are - you know. Not admirable.

I have no doubt Thune would like to find a solution to gun violence - the fact that he voted against a bill to ban high capacity magazines over 10 bullets and for allowing firearms in checked baggage on Amtrak trains was a simple matter of...youthful exuberance? And, while residence in the basket of deplorables is often a matter of grubby self-interest, I'm certain the fact that he received at least $850,000 in campaign donation from the Nation Rifle Association in no way affected his decisi - hee hee - his deci - ha ha - de - HA HA HA HA HA!

The bag of deplorables - sometimes, the only thing you can do is laugh.

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